My Heart Doth Safely Trust In You

I have to admit between friends and family I have the most amazing people in my life.  Even some of the acquaintances that I have come in contact with are wonderful people.   In the midst of the struggles and difficulties my family had during our years in Colorado we had people that showed us love, charity and true friendship.  There were also people that found our struggle uncomfortable and they disappeared into the background of our lives.  But, this gave us the opportunity to become even closer with those that really cared for and loved us.

Maybe this is a little unconventional, but there is one friend in particular that I think about almost every time I think about the years we lived in Colorado.  She is a dear friend who was continuously there for me almost from the very minute we moved there. I’m convinced that she was put in my life by God to provide support and love, but most of all empathy.  A few days ago I was feeling very rundown.  I was hugging and holding my baby and feeling my heart ache a little that I had to leave him to go to work…..again.  I put my baby down for a nap, came downstairs, and saw my friend’s name on my phone and that she had left me a message.  I immediately felt calmer and grateful that she had thought about me.  I also couldn’t wait to call her back.  She has become family, a sister I never had and someone I feel comfortable sharing everything with.  

When we first moved into the Conifer ward Brent and I were asked to be primary teachers. We said yes and on our way out of the building a beautiful young woman, about my age, holding a newborn, called our names and introduced herself as Christy.  She was the Primary President and she warmly thanked us for accepting the callings.  She then invited us to come and meet her husband and some other people in the ward.  It was such a warm welcome and also a great relief to meet someone else my age that lived in the middle of the Rocky Mountains.  She and her husband Ben began to tell us about the adoption of their newborn.  It was an unbelievable story.  I had been going through infertility myself and had felt very alone and isolated in that experience, yet here I was listening to this miracle that had happened for this young couple after 7 years of infertility and I instantly wanted her to be my friend.

Later I found out we both had the same dumb diagnoses (PCOS) and it was the reason why both of us had issues with getting pregnant.  Christy had amazing advice on how to battle PCOS and some things that had been working for her.  I discovered other things about her that amazed me.  She is a gourmet cook and a talented writer.  She also introduced me to Jazzercise because she was becoming an instructor.  It is an exercise I immediately fell in love with. She asked if I wanted to work with her on setting up for weddings in the mountain community center her and her husband were caretakers for.  I got to know Christy during some very long and late hours of cleaning up after weddings.

Brent and I had gotten a puppy shortly after moving to Colorado and I expressed my concerns to Christy about leaving for work all day long with him home alone.  After she heard about him tearing apart our bathroom (and Brent almost killing him) she offered to watch our dog a couple of days a week and let him play with her dog.  I’m not sure if she has any idea today how much that actually meant to me.  He would get into trouble at her house.  It was so embarrassing.  But I never had to give him away, which is what Brent insisted we would do if the dog ever chewed anything in our brand new condo again. 

Later I was called to be Christy’s first councilor in the Primary and I bonded with her further over the gospel.  The grasp she has on the gospel, its doctrine and the feelings she has of the Spirit are inspiring.  She has taught me so many thoughts and lessons about the Savior, the Priesthood, the temple, church history and the list goes on.  In fact it is because of her and another couple in the ward we decided to become temple workers.  She and Ben had been temple workers before adopting their baby and after she shared her experience with me I was convinced it was something that would bless my life.   

About a year after moving into the area she and Ben started looking for homes about an hour away, closer to Ben’s work.  I even went with them once to look at a home.  I just knew I was going to miss her so much and decided that it was very important to me to keep in touch with her.  Like I mentioned before, I have had many wonderful people in my life but never any one that had experienced so many of the things I had experienced. I had never known anyone who had the empathy for what I was going through like she had.  From that time on we always lived at least an hour away from each other but Brent and I would drive to visit her family and they would likewise drive up the mountain to visit us and their other friends in the ward.  Every couple of months I would harass her on the phone just to stay in touch.  I have always loved talking with Christy. 

A Sweet Friendship

Miraculously, a few months after Christy moved I got pregnant and then a few weeks later Christy did. We even shared that amazing experience. A few months after that Brent’s job was in jeopardy and one of the people I really wanted and needed to talk to about my despair was Christy.  I felt like I was annoying her with how ridiculously upset I was.  The fear I had of the unknown was all consuming and she would listen to everything. And that is how it went over the years.  We talked about our children and the difficulty we were having with them.  Her son was diagnosed with something on the autistic spectrum and I watched both her and Ben in absolute awe.  Life was not easy for Brent and me but life was not easy for them as well.  During those years if I chatted with Christy I would tell Brent when he got home from work.  Knowing that it was most likely the highlight of my week he would always say, “It is so amazing that you have her as a friend”.   So often during our conversations I have blurted out feelings or thoughts I would never tell anyone else.  In fact during our conversation a few days ago I even said something crazy, I told her I knew it sounded crazy and she just said, “no that doesn’t sound crazy it makes total sense” and then I said, “I’ve never said that out loud before and if I told Brent he would say that I was crazy”. 

Christy and I would try to meet up once or twice a year at the zoo or drive to each other’s homes.  We spent first birthdays and the Passover Seder meals with them.  There was one Seder meal we completely botched at my mom’s house.  Christy and I wanted to get together and do a Seder meal to review the symbolism of the Savior’s last supper.   We were completely ill prepared!  We had cilantro instead of parsley and saltine crackers instead of matzah. Christy had even accidentally pulled out a pork bone from her freezer instead of one from a calf.  It would have sent someone who was really Jewish into complete shock.  But it is one of my favorite memories and that night was filled with laughter and talk of the Savior.  We just kept reassuring ourselves that it was all about the symbolism and that was the important part.

During the last six months that we lived in Colorado, Christy kept in close contact with me, talking to me more often than normal.   She was one of the rocks that helped to steady me, giving me advice and listening to me.  She drove out to come to my baby shower. But, what I remember most of all was when Christy and Ben came to Ethan’s baby blessing.  I remember witnessing them really struggle with one of their children during sacrament and they handled it with such grace, patience and love.  I happen to know that Christy has many of those moments day in and day out and all I have to say is I am so impressed.  Both Ben and Christy are not perfect but they do the best they can perfectly and it is amazing to witness.

To have a friend who can love and support you when they have their own crazy life is a unique and wonderful experience.  I have been blessed to have many friends, but to have a friend who has experienced much of what I have experienced and can offer me empathy, Christ-like empathy, takes it to a different level.  I am so grateful for all of the beautiful people in my life, but I am especially grateful that Heavenly Father sent me a beautiful angel. She has helped me bare my burdens with more ease by having a listening ear and an empathetic heart.  Christy is my sister in the gospel, she is a talented and vibrant women and best of all she is one of my dearest and most treasured friends. 

Friendship