A Giving Heart
Last year’s holiday season was a very challenging time for our family. We had two small children and I was nine months pregnant with our third. My husband, Brent, is an insurance defense attorney with most his of his experience being in construction defect. When the recession hit, construction stopped along with a lot of work in my husband’s field. It proved to be an enormous challenge for Brent to try to get a job in another area of law. As a result, he experienced three layoffs in six years; two of the layoffs resulted in months without work. What little savings we were able to put aside quickly disappeared. When the second period of unemployment came, we found ourselves with nothing to fall back on except family and friends who were a true blessing and lifeline during such a stressful and dark time. Despite my husband’s greatest efforts of leaving to the library and looking for work all day, he was out of work for 6 months. At some point, we estimated that he had applied to over 500 jobs during that time. The stress was debilitating, especially on Brent who worried about how he was going to provide for his family. In our darkest days, we received an outpouring of love, support, and even charity from a countless number of people, including some friends who offered a home for us in their basement.
One experience I had at the beginning of December, just before the Christmas season, absolutely took my breath away; I can’t even talk about it now without tears coming to my eyes. Brent had been out of work for 5 months and I was a primary teacher for the 7 and 8 year olds at that time and was teaching the primary lesson about tithing. It is a lesson often taught in December, I believe because tithing settlement is also held at that time. I asked the children what kind of blessings they could receive from paying their tithing or from their parents paying tithing. To be honest, their answers were age appropriate but concerned me a little. Most of them said things like, “If someone pays their tithing they could maybe get a job that pays more money,” or, “When we pay our tithing we could get a raise at work.” With the promptings of the spirit, I felt I should tell them a little about what my family had been going through and I wanted to teach them that tithing is not an insurance to keep bad things from happening to us financially; but, that we could still have great blessings from paying our tithing. I delicately told them that my husband and I have always paid our tithing. I even remember telling them, “Guess what has happened to us? Things have actually gotten harder for us and my husband has even lost his job but I want to testify to you that the blessings we have had from paying our tithing has not been money. We have had wonderful people who have offered their home to us and even though we have two cars that both have their check engine lights on they haven’t broken down. We have had wonderful people surround us and help us when we need it. The greatest blessing I have had from paying my tithing are temple blessings and having a forever family.” The children seemed to understand and accept that as a better answer.
The following week my husband set up an interview out of state for two weeks from then. When he had interviews out of state we usually had to pay the cost that it took for him to go. Brent had asked his parents to help pay for a plane ticket and he decided to just go early in the day and come home late that night so there wouldn’t be hotel costs. Unfortunately, we didn’t have enough money to sustain him with food, gas or a car rental while he was gone. I prayed all week that we would be able to figure out a way to afford him to be gone. The Sunday before his job interview, one of my Primary children walked up to me, tossed an envelope onto my lap, and then ran off to sharing time. She had made the envelope out of a page from The Ensign with a picture of the Savior on it. This little girl was always cheerful and raised her hand often to give sweet answers of love and kindness to the questions asked by myself and my team teacher. She also often drew pictures and thank you notes to us, so I assumed that was what was in the envelope. When I opened it and pulled the letter out I had to wrap my head around the fact that multiple 10 and 20 dollar bills fell out and a note that said, “I heard that your husband has no job so I am giving you this money. I hope it will help.
My first thought and instinct was, “I have to give this back. I cannot take this money from a child.” While walking to the Primary room, my heart began to soften and change. I started to have the thought that maybe I needed to let this child discover what it felt like to give and to be charitable. I called Ashlyn out into the hallway and knelt down on the ground with my 9 month pregnant belly so I could be face to face with her. I thanked her, and then I asked her how it was she had that much money. She told me that when a lot of her family had come into town for her baptism six weeks earlier they had given her the money as a gift. Then, I asked her if her parents knew she was going to give me this much money and if they were all right with it. She was beaming with a smile when she shook her head yes. I was quiet for a moment then tears came to my eyes and I told her, “Ashlyn…..I am so proud of you and I know that the Savior is proud of you as well.” I told her about what I had been praying for that week and that she had answered my prayer, then I gave her a hug. By this time, the joy she felt was bursting from every part of her and she even started to jump up and down with the happiness she felt.
When I got home I sent her mom a message and told her how impressed I was with Ashlyn, then asked if she was okay with her giving us so much money. Her mother replied that Ashlyn had been holding on to the money for 6 weeks trying to think about what she wanted to do with it. The previous week after church her mom said Ashlyn came to her with a big smile and told her, “I know what I want to do with my money, I want to give it to my primary teacher.” Then she told me that they had been thinking about our family.
I was so impressed and very touched that this child didn’t immediately run to the store to choose a prize. No one would blame her for it either; it was her birthday and she made the choice to be baptized. She deserved it. Instead, soon after being baptized and making her baptismal covenants, she made a choice to give, show charity and a Christlike love to her primary teacher who had been praying for help and she answered my prayer. This little girl is going to be a powerful influence in this world and be a light and an example. We have since moved out of state to take a job far away, but I hope to keep track of Ashlyn and watch her example as she grows.
We have learned so much from that time in our lives, about how to be humble and accept help when it is offered. We have also learned a great deal of empathy and how to help others that are in need and how to love and support them. It was a very difficult experience and I never want to go through it again. Brent and I have both struggled at times to move on from the pain of the experience but the Lord has been trying to teach me the significance of a humbling experience and the significance of his humble birth through the witness of the Holy Ghost and I hope with time I can continue to learn more from that difficult time.
